The succes of FAILURE

Yes, I failed. I started off so optimistic this month, ready to write 50.000 words. And what's more, I wanted to write a new story every day. It would be amazing! I would explore new themes, new ways of writing and I would discover new sides of myself as a writer.

What happened? What happened to that optimism, that determination, that drive? How could I just lose that?

Looking back on July (and the month isn't finished yet, which means I have a voice shouting 'write, write, while you still can!!!' in my head) I think I can safely say that I didn't lose that drive, or the determination. The problem was not a lack of energy, or a writers block, or a lack of ideas, it was the opposite. I once heard that when you are stuck with your writing, it is because you have too much ideas, and you don't know which one is best. That is the same problem I encountered this month.

Let's see what I did do:
1. Made plans for a book, or a series of books (detailed plans, not just thought about it)
2. Started with a radio play.
3. Recorded a song with my lovely sister, then
4. Made a video for that song and uploaded it.
5. Worked on and recorded another cover.
6. Did write 10 short stories, and started even more.

Actually I am pretty proud of myself, even when I didn't succeed with Nanowrimo. Moreover, I have booked tickets to Japan and send all the required documents, so I have done some important, obligatory stuff too. This shows that you always should look at why you failed and what you wanted to achieve in the first place. For me, it wasn't just about the words, it was about developing myself on the creative level. And in that respect, I haven't failed. Yes, I think I'll look upon this failure as a succes.

We're going backwards

What is this? 

A song by Murderous Mango aka US!!! WOOHOO!!!

It's a cover of this song by Matthias, a contestant (and finalist) of Internet Icon season 2!

Enjoy!

Crying

Today I said goodbye to a friend and housemate. She is going to study in South-Africa for 5 months. As I will be going to Japan in October and only return in March, this means I won't see her for a very long time. She was crying. Her mother was crying. Her sister was crying and some of her other friends were crying. I did not cry. In fact, I wasn't even sad. No matter how I tried, I couldn't grasp the fact that she was really leaving. I just couldn't feel it.

I just have that sometimes. I know that something is coming, but I just can't see it until it is real. I almost never cry in situations where other people are crying. When something is not real on the other hand, like a movie or a series when someone (almost) dies, I cry my eyes out.

I know it's not obligatory to cry, but sometimes you just feel as if you lack something. And not just the tears, the entire feeling of sadness is absent. I do feel it at the strangest moments. One casual remark from someone - who is perfectly happy at that moment - and there are tears in my eyes.

I don't understand myself. Am I weird? Maybe I should take notes of the times I do feel things and find out what the determining factor is...

Lots of love,
Marly

ps. Later than I promised, but there is a story on my blog. The theme was Envy.

Someday I'll grow my wings and fly away

How I went to England and fell in love with it.

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Pictures of London, Cambridge, Grantchester and Brighton. I'm not a professional photographer, and that's not my aim. I just wanted to make some pictures of the beautiful things I saw. Can't wait to go back there.

Lots of love, Suze